Say Something
by FallenDarkness666
Summary: Fem!Bilbo x Thorin. I do NOT own the Hobbit or the song used in this story which is Say Something by A Great Big World. Rated M because why the hell not.


**Bold** = Thorin's POV

_Italics_ = Bilba's POV

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_I'll be the one if you want me to_

_Anywhere I would have followed you_

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_There we all gathered, all twelve of us, looking over the battlement. At last, we had reached Erebor. The entire journey I was nothing but excited. I wondered what it would be like after we made it to the Lonely Mountain…but I never expected this._

_No, this was far from it. I had envisioned Thorin and me sitting in the throne room, looking over the kingdom. He would be smiling all the time and he would want to show me all around his kingdom and tell me every story at every stop that he took with a memory behind it. I imagined him holding me in his arms and telling me over and over again how much he loved me. From time to time, I had even thought of him wanting me to see his old bedroom when he was younger, of us lying together and completely inseparable._

_But once we entered the mountain, he changed. He was no longer the Thorin Oakensheild who had come to my door in the Shire so long ago. He had barely left the treasure room. The gleam in his eyes changed into a look of greed and_ _suspicion. The last time we had touched was Lake Town, and he didn't seem eager to show me anything. His smile was there, yes, but it was more of a grin, a dangerous and sickening look. _

_All I wanted was my Thorin back. When the elves and men came, I could see how my reasonable lover had become a greedy beast. It would result in war for sure! I couldn't stand by. With Kili and Fili and the others lives on the line as well….I just had to do something! I hadn't told anyone that I had found the Arkenstone yet. By the sounds from the treasure room, I knew Thorin was looking for it. I had thought that…maybe…maybe if he was so desperate to have it….maybe he would negotiate with then. I only wanted to protect them!_

_And I am feeling so small_

_It was over my head_

_I know nothing at all_

_And I will stumble and fall_

_I'm still learning to love_

_Just starting to crawl_

_Now here we were, looking over the side as Bard held out the Arkenstone for Thorin to see._

_"__THEIVES!" Thorin hollered furiously, "YOU THEIVES STOLE THE ARKENSTONE! WHY SHOULD I GIVE YOU WHAT IS MINE IN RETURN FOR ANOTHER THAT IS MINE?!"_

_"__We did not steal this stone Master Oakensheild. It was gifted to us as a peace offering."_

_"__BY WHO?!" he screamed._

_"__Me." I said quietly, "I gave them the stone."_

_Thorin just stared at me in silence for a moment. A look of pure confusion came over him. He'd open his mouth to speak, only to close it again. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, for his lost look was breaking my heart._

_"__No. No, it's not possible my heart. You would not do that to me. Are you covering for someone my sweet? You cannot take the fault for another especially for something like this."_

_It hurt. It hurt so badly. My heart wouldn't stop aching, for my words would destroy him later. Tears were starting to drip down my cheeks. He was in denial, for the truth might just be too painful._

_"__I'm so sorry my love." I cried, coming closer to him, "I had to make you see! I…I couldn't let this continue!"_

_There it was. There was the stone, irony not intended, that broke the glass house. I watched as my beloveds face went from that of confusion, to realization, to sadness and sorrow. For a moment, he looked almost broken. For the briefest seconds, the gleam in his eye disappeared and I could see the saddened face of him, my Thorin, my lover, my heart and soul. Then, before I knew what was happening, my Thorin was gone again, over powered by whatever controlled his body as he latched his hands around my throat and held me out over the battlement._

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_

_Anywhere I would have followed you_

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_"__YOU TRICK! YOU LIAR! I GAVE YOU MY HEART! I GAVE YOU MY KINGDOM! I SHARED MY PAIN AND WORRIES AND FEARS WITH YOU! YOU COLD, HEARTLESS…THEIF!"_

_My body dangled over the side. I could barely breathe! His fingernail dug deep into the back of my neck. I starting flailing my legs and grabbing hold of his forearms, anything to loosen his grip._

_"__THORIN STOP!" Balin screamed._

_"__UNCLE YOU'RE HURTING HER!"_

_Fili and Kili grabbed onto his forearms as well, trying to pull me free. They screamed and pleaded and used all their strength, but his grip was just too tight. Tears poured down my face and I gasped for air, trying desperately to stay alive. _

_Thorin, my Thorin, was dead. While physically, he stood before me, ringing life from my body, my Thorin, the Thorin I loved and loved me right back, he was long gone._

_"__UNCLE STOP!" Fili cried out, tears meeting his own eyes, "UNCLE YOU LOVE HER! UNCLE PLEASE!"_

_"__PLEASE UNCLE! SPARE HER! SPARE HER!" _

_"__HOW COULD I LOVE SUCH A TRADORIOUS WHORE!?"_

_"__Well that was a little uncalled for. " I thought to myself._

_"__YOU DO, YOU DO! YOU LOVE HER SO MUCH UNCLE! YOU LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE!"_

_"__SHE SAVED YOU UNCLE! THIS IS THE VERY SAME WOMAN WHO SAVED YOU! WHO SAVED KILI AND ME! WHO SAVED ALL OF US! WE WOULDN'T BE HERE AT ALL WITHOUT HER! UNCLE PLEASE! SPARE HER!"_

_"__GIVE ME ONE REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T THROW YOU OVER THE SIDE RIGHT NOW!" Thorin demanded._

_"__Because I love you, "I thought, "Because this isn't the you that I know. This isn't the dwarf who held me in his arms and kept me warm at night. This isn't the man who promised me his heart. This isn't my One."_

_All of that, I wanted to say. I wanted him to know that I knew what was wrong. That I knew he loved me still. That it was the gold sickness that was doing this to him. But as I looked into his eyes, into his eyes that filled with rage, betrayal, and sorrow, I honestly couldn't believe that whole heartedly. All I could do was close my eyes, for I could never live without him now that I had had him. _

**And I will swallow my pride**

**You're the one that I love**

**And I'm saying goodbye**

**What have I done? I hadn't realized anything, as if I had been asleep since entering the mountain. Now it was too late. What was once dark, my sight was instantly on the tear stained, terrified face of my lover. I looked at my hands around her throat, marks were already forming.**

**"****UNCEL PLEASE!" Kili hollered next to me.**

**His voice brought me from my thought immediately. I pulled her back over the edge and released her. She fell to the stone ground, hard. She gasped for air like a fish does with water. What I had thought was only the beginning of bruising, turned out to be a large ring of black that formed perfect hand prints. My hand prints. Oh god….WHAT HAVE I DONE?!**

**Dwalin and Bifur grabbed me by my arms and dragged me as far from her as they could. They didn't let go either. And to tell the truth, I didn't want them to. If I could have nearly taken her life and not realized it, what could I do now? No, no I wouldn't risk her life a second time.**

**"****GO HALFLING! LEAVE AND NEVER RETURN, FOR IF YOU DO, YOU WILL BE KILLED ON SIGHT."**

**Say something I'm giving up on you**

**And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you**

**Anywhere I would have followed you**

**Say something I'm giving up on you**

**Was that too much? Maybe. But if it kept her away from me, where she would be safe, I would say anything. I turned my back on her, on my company, and entered the mountain.**

**"****GO BACK OUT THERE YOU MORON!" I thought to myself, "GO BACK OUT THERE AND BEG FOR FORGIVENESS! TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER! HOLD HER CLOSE AND KISS HER LIKE YOU NEVER HAD BEFORE! DON'T LET HER LEAVE! SAY SOMETHING!" **

**But no matter how badly I wanted to listen, I couldn't. What's done was done and nothing would ever change that. I was, by far, the greatest threat to her life, and I would never endanger her again. **

**"****I love you…" I whispered into the air.**

**Say something I'm giving up on you**

_That was it. He wanted me out and gone. I knew it. I knew he no longer loved me. His treasure and stupid rock were what was most important to him now. I staying would never change that. _

_"__No!" Ori cried, "No you cannot leave, Miss Bilba!"_

_"__Mr. Balin, can't you reason with Uncle?" Kili asked desperately._

_"__There is no reasoning now my sweets." I said softly._

_We all just stared at one another for a while. They all knew it was the case and that I had to leave now, but none wanted to get rid of me. I sighed, knowing that I would just have to leave on my own. I opened my arms, a silent gesture to the younglings (Ori, Kili, and Fili) to come hug me goodbye. They ran and crushed me with their tears and goodbyes._

_"__I'm coming with you Miss Bilba!" Fili cried, "Uncle cannot make you leave alone!"_

_"__Fili my prince, you must stay. Your uncle is in a very dark place right now. He is going to need you by him." I held him so he would look me in the eye, "But should this turn into a war, you take Ori and your brother and the three of you get somewhere safe. You are all too young to blindly run into an unwinnable war. "_

_After many more hugs, and many, many more tears, I began down the mountain. And as I traveled farther and farther from my boys, my friends, Thorin, my heart shattered into smaller and smaller pieces. Once I reached the trusting arms of Gandalf, I cried out. What have I done?_

_Say something…._


End file.
